Have some pictures of Joker and I having out first play session at the local Rope Exchange last month. It was short and sweet as we got to know one another’s style.
We talked before this about what we wanted and what we expected. Plus communicated throughout about my comfort levels and she made sure to check my limbs for any signs of compressed nerves or arteries.
We’ve had some good deep and meaningful conversations since then too and I’m excited to negotiate further with her.

Here is a small excerpt from a story I’m working on which I may or may not edit:

“Good girl” she whispers in my ear and my body shudders with longing. I can tell she’s behind me even though I’m blind folded. I can feel her breath which has become heavy on my neck.

The heat radiating from her body brushes against me as she leans over to check my hands and feet which are bound in front of me by rope. She gags me with another piece of rope even though I know she enjoys the sounds I make when she hurts me.

We’re sitting on the floor of the community hall and I know people are probably watching us but I’m not aware of them at this stage. All I’m aware of is the rope around me and now the piece of rope in my mouth which is unpleasant. My tongue doesn’t know where to sit and I worry about making her rope wet with saliva. She stabs my feet with something pointy and I make a high pitched squeal around the impromptu gag… I forget all about worrying; about the saliva soaked rope and any other worries that were floating around in my head at the time. It’s gone… there is only me, Joker and the rope around me. Every now and then something pointy comes into existence too – she revels in my pain and discomfort.

She tickles me with her nails and I make muffled laughing noises. Then she pulls the rope that has been woven around my toes. It hurts and I make squealing noises again.

This is our first play together so it’s short. She slowly unties me, taking her time specifically with removing the gag so I drool a little bit. I can tell she enjoys watching my saliva drip from the rope.

We cuddle afterwards and I ask if I can lay in her lap. I look up at her and we talk about what we just created. I respect and fear her. She says she likes me and can tell I’m an authentic person. She says she loves me for who I am, how vulnerable I can be, the noises I make. She says she trusts me, that I live my life by example and that she respects that. I smile at her not knowing what to say… I wrap my arms fully around her in a tight bear hug. There isn’t much height difference between us at the moment but I remember her 7 inch black heels adorned with silver spikes that she was wearing when I first met her. I can’t wait to explore this deeper… hopefully she will wear those heels next time.”

 

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The latest play party was a blast.

The first proper scene with my new play partner Salv went really well! The dynamic of our relationship hasn’t been completely fleshed out yet but we’re shaping up to be regular rope partners.
During the scene he started slow and chatted a little bit initially about time travel while fretting over the uneven tension. I encouraged him to take his time and that he is welcome to undo and redo as needed.
Once my arms were securely tied and the tension was just right around my chest I began to slip into subspace. He mostly sat behind me peering at me from my peripheries and laughing at me whenever I got embarrassed by his gaze. He asked me how I was doing… my answer came as a drunken slur of positive sounds and he smiled as he lowered me to the ground using a strong arm behind my head.
I moaned quietly & my body convulsed consistently as he secured my feet.
When he was happy with that he tickled me until my belly and cheeks were aching from laughter. I heard others laughing as well from the other side of the room.
Eventually I became exhausted from thrashing about trying to get away, he laughed at me and told me I was fun to play with as I bit his arm and tasted salt on his skin.
He untied me slowly… taking every opportunity to touch my skin and caress my curves.
Afterwards we shared some hugs and chatted a little bit as I came back to myself. His girlfriend came in for a bit too to chat to the both of us – we get along really well which is a relief.
All up we played for about an hour but it didn’t feel that long at all.
I’m hoping to do some more rope one on one with him in the near future.

My only regret was that I didn’t share nearly as many experiences with Hectic as I would have liked. He looked so hot in latex and I really wanted to run my hands along his body more but Thistlebird was “designated girlfriend” for the night so even though it wasn’t strictly off limits she had preference.
We talked about our feelings afterwards though and I’m looking forward to the next party when I get the privilege of going with him as his partner (and not as a single woman who happens to be dating him).

Writes of Passage ~ Trust

Trust, with a capital T, is an essential part of my life.

Like everyone I’ve ever met there have been aspects of my past that have taken chunks out of that Trust until I was left with a Trust that was losing density like an osteoporotic bone. My cells build and then destroy, they feed on the nutrients left behind, but they no longer build as fast as they consume and so I’m left with porous beliefs which seem contradictory.
I am both Kinky and Polyamorous. These labels come with a great responsibility to those closest to me as they put their Trust in me and I put mine in them; this part of the puzzle is essential to this way of life. Because if you are missing the Trust piece it will never be fulfilled.

I’ve been dating a guy for the last 2.5 years and he has been dating his other girlfriend for a year. He has had other partners during that time too but they haven’t worked out. In this relationship style I have to Trust that he is doing right by me as well as his other girlfriend – that he is being safe, honest and communicative.
Of course like in any other relationship, that Trust can be broken or torn, and it has been but we have proven to each other that it can be rebuilt over time with a little effort from everyone.
Sometimes a breach in Trust once repaired, is stronger than it was previously and at other times people need reassurance to let their Trust blossom – but that ties into insecurities and jealousy which is a story for another time.
That’s the Polyamorous part of myself, the Kink side of myself relies on Trust even more as it can be a dangerous lifestyle to live… there is always a chance that something won’t go as expected and people could be seriously hurt, mentally and physically.

Let me bare myself to you by way of an antidote and I will Trust that there will be understanding amongst inevitable judgement, of which I don’t see as a bad thing (judgement in my opinion is important in deciding if something is for us or not therefore essential in the pursuit of self actualisation). Last night we went to a Kink Party with our friends. My partner communicated with me his curiosity and excitement surrounding a public(ish) scene where I bend him over a bench and hit him with various implements.
To the vanilla world this probably sounds like the least amount of fun one could have at a party but the amount of Trust that is involved in such a scene is intoxicating.
We have practised in private, and he Trusts that I will respect the boundaries that have been previously negotiated because he knows that once he is on that bench poised with his ass in the air that I have complete control. Or at least the implication of complete control as he Trusts that if he uses the word “Red” that I will stop immediately, and I Trust that if I go too far that he will use the word despite how unmanly it may seem.
We both Trust our friends who are watching that they will not ridicule us or make public what we do at these parties. And I Trust that they have taught me the correct techniques so as to give my partner a fulfilling and safe scene bent over that bench.
Scenes like this both relax and excite. Epinephrine pumps through my veins at the excitement of control and the complete Trust he has in me, whilst serotonin pumps through his allowing him to slip out of reality and into a world where he can let his “unmanly” emotions pour out in the form of tears.

When we finish, he Trusts I will be there solid as a rock to welcome his vulnerable self back to reality as it can leave you feeling cloudy, not unlike a good yoga class.
We put our Trust in the process and this ritual we have negotiated; The cup of water, the consumption of sweets, the grounding touch of another person as he comes back to earth safely.
And the most important part of the process is the communication afterwards which will allow us to contribute to the building up of Trust before it is consumed again for nutrients.

One of the major lessons I have learnt since fully immersing myself in both of these worlds has been the need to approach a relationship palms up and arms outstretched instead of curled up in the fetal position.
To gain someone’s Trust you must first be Trustworthy of course but also completely vulnerable and open to the possibility of breaches in Trust.

 

Writes of Passage Facilitator: Gabriella Salmon (http://www.gabriellasalmon.com)